Look to the character selection screen and behold.

Written by: Santiago Azpurua-Borras

Screw Aquarius and Leo, its all about Arakune and Rachael.

This is your sign and your horoscope. Learn things you never knew about yourself through an arbitrary third party with questionable sources. Only it is not the stars we will be observing, but who you main as in the hit 2-D fighter BlazBlue: Calamity Trigger.

Hit the jump to reveal your inner self and your future!

Arakune – You are a person who knows how to get around, both physically and metaphorically. You often try to include yourself into social cliques, only to be pushed away because you live in a sewer and smell awful. You often have difficulty trying to say what’s on your mind because of a crippling speech impediment. You often keep loved ones guessing of what your true intentions are, which can lead even the best relationship astray. You have a bad tendency for gluttony for both kittens and knowledge. Your future is as follows: You will be faced with a moral decision that even the most pure of philosophies cannot answer. “Eat” or “Do not eat”

Bang – You are a person who believes in simple black-and-white virtues such as love, peace and justice. People around you often see you as a savior even though you know deep inside that it is all a show. However, you do keep your priorities straight and are very proud of your heritage without being a dick about it. You are loud and have a bad taste in music. You are also very true to your emotions and to your heart and will always try to help those around you that appear to be suffering.  You enjoy hearing the sound of your own voice, better yet, hearing the sound of your own voice saying your own name.  Your future is as follows: He/She has been noticing you as of late. Just ask him/her out, he/she will obviously say yes.

Carl – You are a true gentleman, in both appearance and how you handle yourself with others. You suppress your true emotions and spirit to save face in public. However this often backfires as you occasionally have small but noticeable outbursts of insanity. You are a very loyal friend who keeps his loved ones close — too close some might say. You have a thing for toys, especially dolls, circuses and other childish amusements which deterrent from your maturity. Your future is as follows: what you are looking for no longer exists; you will find something better by mistake.

Hakumen – You are strong of heart, will and body. Your personal philosophy is absolute and gives no room for new ideas or mercy. Yet for such an opinionated personality, you often find yourself hiding behind meaningless things. You put on masks to make yourself more comfortable in the face of conflict. Others consider you a self-righteous prick. Because of your mysterious tough guy attitude you own something incredibly large. Let it be a Hummer H2, a gun, or maybe a 16GB iPhone 3G. Whatever it may be, you are obviously compensating for something. Your future is as follows: A personal truth will ultimately be revealed, and it will be over 10,000.

Jin – You are an asshole to absolutely everyone you meet. No one likes you; no one will like you because you resort to violence before anything else. You often find yourself in sexually-tense situations with your immediate family. You call it a “soft spot” for your family while others call it “borderline incest.” Your sharp tongue and even sharper reaction to enter a fight often leave people frozen in their tracks defenseless. And when you do make a mistake (which is often) you will try to just forget about it, instead of facing your consequences. Because of this, you cannot stand those who remind you of your mistakes. Your immediate future is as follows: You will quickly fling yourself off some sort of high ledge and get hit by a car of some sort. No one will ever notice you’ve gone missing.

Litchi – There is more to you than meets the eye. (Have mercy, Hasbro!) Others find you physically attractive and often approach you based on this alone. You posess skills and intelligence the common person does not. You do not bring it up in conversation because most people find you warm and approachable. You make friends easily and are overly patient. You are attracted to those who clearly are not interested. You are very agile and enjoy using endangered species of animals as accessories (you sick freak.) However, you make an awful drunk, often bothering younger girls or offering strangers your “meat buns.” This loose image is only amplified as you are skilled with poles. Your immediate future is as follows: Because of your animal abuse via chic fashion style, you will be arrested only hearing the words “Hands off the Panda!” before being brutally taken down.

Noel – You are a very timid person with no shred of self-confidence. Instead your strength comes from something or someone else. A security blanket if you will. You are very polite and considerate of others, preferring to talk things out instead of resorting to violence. However, your biggest flaw is your physical insecurity. Often teased by others, you try to ignore it only to know it is secretly eating you from the inside. You have a weakness for cute things. Especially animals, cute furry animals. As a matter of fact you are an in-the-closet furry. Your immediate future is as follows: You are not who you think you are. And someday you will have your own panda.

Rachael – You are a person of high society. You judge others by their class and by the way you dress. You are very abusive to those who care about you most. Luckily for you they will always tolerate it. While you are verbally aggressive, you rarely take control of your own life. Instead you prefer to sit on the sidelines and observe. Your favorite holiday is Halloween and you own an “alternative” pet named after a dead monarch. Everything for you must absolutely be the way you want it, from your fashion to your food, it’s your way or the highway. You also really do not like being touched or approached, ever. Your immediate future is as follows: The tea will not be prepared to your liking; hell then follows to be unleashed.

Ragna – Aggressive and goal-oriented, you do not spend too much time talking to others only being interrupted by hunger or the genuine kind nature of a stranger. Like the anarchist you are, you try to take on an entire system of power. Unlike Guy Fawkes you actually have a chance on succeeding. You are loud, annoying and had a bad habit of stealing things that rightfully belong to others. In terms of your love life, you only seem to attract the obsessive crazies. Other than them, you try to keep others at a distance. You also have a severe lack of originality, acting and dressing like similar people who came before you. Even worse, others copy you only adding to the unoriginality factor. Your immediate future is as follows: After a great concert you will go to a Denny’s to get some much needed food with your friends. Everyone has spent all their money on said concert so no one can pick up the tab. You dine n’ dash.

Tager – You are powerfully built. You could easily take down anyone who would even be crazy enough to stand in your way, however despite your strength you are a pacifist. You are an intellectual who believes violence is pointless, but also realize that sometimes it is necessary. You have a thing for girls/boys dressed like cats. However some might call you cold for relying too much on hard facts and numbers, but you don’t mind because in your mind you know you’re right. You always pay what you own and are very loyal. Your immediate future is as follows:  Become a professional wrestler, break the ground with your opponent’s body.

Taokaka – You are incredibly innocent, to the point of naiveté. You will do almost anything for food, including betrayal. You will protect your family to the death and are very proud of you are. You refuse to call anyone or anything by its actual name as you find that nicknames are much easier. You seem to have a thing for busty women and big jackets. Good thing your personality is so warm, because your face terrifies those around you, they’re just polite enough to say anything.  Your immediate future is as follows: A feast lies before you, followed by a peaceful nap in your favorite spot. Beware the squiggly!

V-13 – Cold. Hard. Calculating. Violent. All this and more describes you. Most people avoid you at all costs because of your appearance and reputation. You enjoy keeping people at a distance because you know that’s where you can do the most damage. While there is another side to you, a bubbly side, it may as well be more terrifying than your more common side. Obsessive, you crave for a special someone, too bad they want nothing to do with you. Yet you are persistent and will keep trying and trying. Your immediate future is as follows: He will never love you. Stop trying.